How valuable you are to the people in your life? Sometimes it is easy to just pass through the day and just "know" your s/o knows you love them, or your family members and friends just know that you appreciate the help and support they provide. Why do we forget to mention daily that we love and appreciate the people in our lives? Why is it when something is taken from you, you then remember how much you loved, appreciated, and valued that person? It is so easy to take for granted that they will be there the next day or the next few hours.
We go through our daily lives just acting like the people in our world are just supposed to know we care for them. Why? Is it because we speak everyday, you know the basic stuff? Or because we celebrate each other on bdays, anniversaries, or holiday's? Or is it because we told them on last week we loved them or thank you? Shouldn't this be a daily thing? Daily words and actions that match? What are our actions showing?
I am very guilty of this, I am not an emotional person AT ALL and I don't need to be told a lot that you love me, or thanking me, or just telling me what I mean to you. I feel like I know my s/o loves me he shows it in his actions, but why am I taking away his need to tell me what his actions already show me? Selfish maybe, well probably just a little bit, I guess it is something I need to work on; cause we ALL need work.
My Sis Reecie sent me an email yesterday Learning from Erin based on a conversation we had a while back she said this made her think of me. And I guess the lesson is this you really never know how valuable you are to someone. You never know what allowing them to tell you how they feel about makes them feel, eventhough you may not need to hear it, they made need to say it. Just being kind, appreciative, and receptive can really help nuture and foster our relationships, all of our relationships.
Everyday when I see my daughter she screams to the top of her lungs "mommy is home" and run's and gives me this big kiss. It makes all the "issues" of the day seem pointless, man I swear we could really learn something from children. I was having a converation with a girlfriend last night who is just really going through it and I didn't do much talking I just listened and reassured her that God has her back and what he has for her NO ONE has take away. Just to really pray about what is going on and LISTEN to him as he will guide her correctly. So once we ended our conversation she said to me " Thanks for lisetening & ur support Crys" and my response was "no thanks needed I love you and am truly here to support you" once again failing to allow someone to tell me thanks and that they appreciated me.
Am I faulty for this? I mean for me I feel like I just don't need to be told thanks and I appreciate your help, I don't do things for thanks. I do it cause I truly want to be there and help my friends. I guess this is something that I really need to work on I have to realize it is not just for me. People are expressing thanks and letting me know I am valuable to them and they need to do that.
6 comments:
I am big on words of affirmation, so I need to hear them. I also give them. Just because you are not that way, I don't think it makes you faulty, it just makes you you.
preciate the shoutout too. That story ministered to ME in a way that I had to share it! The book version of Our Daily Bread also included 1 Corinithians 12:21-25 as the reading to go with the story.
My Great-Granny always told us to "give people their flowers while they're living." I came to understand this to mean to affirm people--their value in your life and their value in life period--while they are here to hear it. I try to do that often. I'm big on "I love you" and "You're so special! I appreciate you!"
And you know how I know I'm getting it right? My baby! She tells me often "Yay! You did it, Mommy! You're an awesome blossom!" She hears that from me. I want her to know I think she's the bees knees, and I want her to live her life bathing people in affirmation as well.
I agree with Reecie--you're not deficient because this isn't you. Just allow people to tell you they love you for being the YOU you are. :)
Reecie/Tisha - you ladies are both rigt and I realize that I need to stop taking that option from people.
Tisha I also explain to Cyd mommy loves you, giving her high-fives when she does good, explain to here when she does wrong, kiss her always, allow her to stay under me, not allowing her to say I can't, telling her I am proud, ph and her favorite she is a princess etc. I probably need to add more of - you are a rock star and such.
I ask does it make me faulty cause I don't need it? you know when you feel like YOU don't need it YOU don't always give it. But I am making a promise to be better at this
Yeah, Tisha & Reecie already said exactly what I would have. It's also something I had to learn when I was younger, that just because someone isn't like me in terms of how they show affection or appreciation, it doesn't mean they don't feel it.
Y'know I've blogged about making sure I tell folks how I feel about them, so, I totally cosign your post.
There's a line from a song I really like, it's cheesy, but it works for me; "what makes you different, makes you beautiful"
:o)
I'm like you, Cryssy. I don't need to hear certain things, and I often take for granted that other folks are like me. I'm getting better though!
It might have something to do with having been raised in a really non-demonstrative family. As a grown person, I can see that we probably were/are a bit odd and that has molded a lot of the little quirks that make me who I am.
At any rate, there are certain things about myself that I can't change, and probably wouldn't. These differences aren't faults. They're how we continue to grow and learn about ourselves. They make you interesting, to yourself and to others. Keep beeing you!
Cryssy... it could be worse. Where someone doesn't back their words with actions. You know. I love you honey. Or I love you mom. But their actions never seem to match up. I like this article, but if you get my point maybe you could write one on the importance of backing words of appreciation or feelings with of appreciation or love with action.
I'm seeing a scary trend where people who show this love are considered soft. Amazing. Yet words without action seems to win over Action without words. I'll take what you do that proves what your feelings over words any day.
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