Do you know...

How valuable you are to the people in your life?  Sometimes it is easy to just pass through the day and just "know" your s/o knows you love them, or your family members and friends just know that you appreciate the help and support they provide.  Why do we forget to mention daily that we love and appreciate the people in our lives?  Why is it when something is taken from you, you then remember how much you loved, appreciated, and valued that person? It is so easy to take for granted that they will be there the next day or the next few hours. 

We go through our daily lives just acting like the people in our world are just supposed to know we care for them.  Why? Is it because we speak everyday, you know the basic stuff? Or because we celebrate each other on bdays, anniversaries, or holiday's? Or is it because we told them on last week we loved them or thank you? Shouldn't this be a daily thing? Daily words and actions that match? What are our actions showing? 

I am very guilty of this, I am not an emotional person AT ALL and I don't need to be told a lot that you love me, or thanking me, or just telling me what I mean to you.  I feel like I know my s/o loves me he shows it in his actions, but why am I taking away his need to tell me what his actions already show me? Selfish maybe, well probably just a little bit, I guess it is something I need to work on; cause we ALL need work. 

My Sis Reecie sent me an email yesterday Learning from Erin based on a conversation we had a while back she said this made her think of me.  And I guess the lesson is this you really never know how valuable you are to someone.  You never know what allowing them to tell you how they feel about makes them feel, eventhough you may not need to hear it, they made need to say it.  Just being kind, appreciative, and receptive can really help nuture and foster our relationships, all of our relationships.

Everyday when I see my daughter she screams to the top of her lungs "mommy is home" and run's and gives me this big kiss.  It makes all the "issues" of the day seem pointless, man I swear we could really learn something from children.  I was having a converation with a girlfriend last night who is just really going through it and I didn't do much talking I just listened and reassured her that God has her back and what he has for her NO ONE has take away.  Just to really pray about what is going on and LISTEN to him as he will guide her correctly.  So once we ended our conversation she said to me " Thanks for lisetening & ur support Crys" and my response was "no thanks needed I love you and am truly here to support you" once again failing to allow someone to tell me thanks and that they appreciated me.

Am I faulty for this?  I mean for me I feel like I just don't need to be told thanks and I appreciate your help, I don't do things for thanks.  I do it cause I truly want to be there and help my friends.  I guess this is something that I really need to work on I have to realize it is not just for me.  People are expressing thanks and letting me know I am valuable to them and they need to do that.

what do EYE think

at 4:45am is why the fuck am I awake AND blogging about it...

1. my hospital mate is going pottty on herself? Yup, you read that correctly.

2. No more dilauded in my iv, period.

3.No more tweeting/bloging, it is taking me two hours to respond post...lol yes two hours....

4. my tv has been on Lindsay Lohan for the past three hours; help me

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Acting like a man....How exactly would that be?

After some back and forth with Tunde I feel like I need to come back and say something BEFORE you read the post. My post is not about attacking manhood and/or telling someone what they HAVE to do to be men...  When reading my post below I think you all need to be armed with the following information/questions

When I talk about man-like behavior I am not talking about manhood. I am talking about what my examples of man like behavior has been from my dad, uncles, godfathers -- etc.


QUESTIONS TO PONDER BEFORE READING -- as a man when you have children (for the sake of these questions she is a girl) you are going to set the example of what man like behavior looks like, right? So when she grows up to the age of dating and/or when she marries is it not fair to say she will have in her mind what man-like behavior looks like based on what you have shown her? Would it not be ok for her to have standards of what she thinks man -like behavior needs to look like for her? Is it not ok for her to say MY DAD is my example of what a man is? Is it not ok for her to say those things you shown her are the expectations she has for men period? By her having those expectation is she saying all of those that don't meet them are not men? or is she saying they are not a representation of what man-like behavior looks like to her?



the reason I feel this way is because these is my example of what man-like behavior look like.
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so let me start by stating the obvious I am a woman...I am not an expert on manhood, this post isn't about that.

So on Friday, July 2nd I was venting on twitter about these "men" and something they did.  The vent kind of went like this "I hate when a man doesn't act like a man" and immediately one of my followers and my homie somewhat checked me saying "how exactly would that be?" and right there I knew what he was getting at -- umm as a woman how would you know anything about being a man.  And you know what he is right I am a woman, birthed an 8lb baby girl from my snatch to prove it.  But it got me thinking as a woman can I not speak on things/actions that are not man like?

Let me back up and tell you guys what prompted this rant from me -- basically there were women gathering and taking out trash AND another woman had to open the door for the woman taking out the trash...SEVERAL men standing around just watching this... yup you read that correctly! There were several men just watching these women take out the trash. So because I am who I am I said " female Y put down the trash male T I know you see her taking the trash out?" and that alone prompted male T to grab the trash and take it out.  Which showed me he knew he was foul for watching her take it out and not just doing it in the first place.

So as I proceeded to tell these details via twitter another one of my followers completely agreed with me.  This reason I make a point to reference this agreement (cause I got several) is because this follower is a MAN. So then the conversation shifts to well maybe they are just not chivalrous and it has nothing to do with being a man.  And that was a great point BUT as my homie Tisha said "show me a man that isn't chivalrous and i"ll show you a man that is lacking in other areas as well".

Fast forward to yesterday I brought up the question on twitter "am I the only woman who when out with her s/o doesn't/won't drive unless he is physically unable?" And most agreed with me, so then I asked my male followers "is it unreasonable expect/require the man to always drive?" and that same follower replied "nope, it should never be an issue." So the discussion in my timeline is now about some of the things EYE and a few of my followers think MEN are supposed to do. So I am getting really good responses and some funny ones also "watch one ovary channel movie, wash dishes twice a week, lay supreme pipe, and lay down the law".  My Sis Reecie tweets me and says have you read THIS - What Is and Isn't a Man? - so I went over and checked it out.

Now based on pure anatomy the author is way more qualified to determine what makes a man a man... There was a part of his article I simply just don't agree with ( and actually the only part of the article I felt I even COULD comment on) "A man doesn’t hold doors, carry groceries, cuddle, hold hands, or say “I love you” because she expects him too. He does it because he wants to. Related to this, a man can’t know everything and anything. Once again, a man is a human being."

So I told Reecie I simply don't agree with that statement, she said she sees it as a gentlemen thing, not a man thing. So my response to her was, while EYE think walking on the outside, opening doors, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room are CHIVALROUS -- I think driving, taking out the trash, pumping gas, yard work, car maintenance, offer a woman standing his seat, bring in the bags from the car, and (this one raised my eyebrows) BLESSING THE MEAL are all things MEN do and things MEN should do...PERIOD!!

Fellas don't get me wrong EYE have strong opinions about what WOMEN should do as well but this entry is not about that...  So am I off base here? Can a woman not say things like "act like a man"? Are there not tangible things that are a direct relationship to man like behavior?

Bitch You Might Be....

Just a little damn #annoucy...

You know I have been seeing a lot of this fuckery going on via twitter. There is nothing wrong with sharing good things that happen in your life BUT when you have the need to ANNOUNCE every damn thing -- houston we have a problem...

Some of you are probably asking what the hell is #announcy, well let me tell you. "OMG this 3 carat ring he bought me is so nice" "exclusive invitation to this party" "i just had to loan a friend 1500" "man i don't feel like cutting my 9 acers of grass" are just a few examples of being #annoucy and yes, before you ask people really do say shit like this.

I feel that people who do this are definitely lacking some love and attention at home. Like why do you need people to know all those details? no seriously, why? From what I can see it is because you realize no one really cares about you and your damn life -- You have figured out that if you lay out certain buzz words it will draw people to talk to you... Like if you tweet/say "i just had to loan a friend 1500" someone is 100% going to say to you "damn can I get a dollar" and then FOR CERTAIN you are going to respond -- see how that works? Now you this person that no one generally cares about is being talked to.

There has to be a deeper reason people are so #announcy like seriously where you not liked as a child? Did you eat alone at the lunch table? Do your parents even like you?

If you can identify with any of this I hate to tell you this but this is border line #KatStackery