After some back and forth with Tunde I feel like I need to come back and say something BEFORE you read the post. My post is not about attacking manhood and/or telling someone what they HAVE to do to be men... When reading my post below I think you all need to be armed with the following information/questions
When I talk about man-like behavior I am not talking about manhood. I am talking about what my examples of man like behavior has been from my dad, uncles, godfathers -- etc.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER BEFORE READING -- as a man when you have children (for the sake of these questions she is a girl) you are going to set the example of what man like behavior looks like, right? So when she grows up to the age of dating and/or when she marries is it not fair to say she will have in her mind what man-like behavior looks like based on what you have shown her? Would it not be ok for her to have standards of what she thinks man -like behavior needs to look like for her? Is it not ok for her to say MY DAD is my example of what a man is? Is it not ok for her to say those things you shown her are the expectations she has for men period? By her having those expectation is she saying all of those that don't meet them are not men? or is she saying they are not a representation of what man-like behavior looks like to her?
the reason I feel this way is because these is my example of what man-like behavior look like.
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so let me start by stating the obvious I am a woman...I am not an expert on manhood, this post isn't about that.
So on Friday, July 2nd I was venting on twitter about these "men" and something they did. The vent kind of went like this
"I hate when a man doesn't act like a man" and immediately
one of my followers and my homie somewhat checked me saying
"how exactly would that be?" and right there I knew what he was getting at -- umm as a woman how would you know anything about being a man. And you know what he is right I am a woman, birthed an 8lb baby girl from my snatch to prove it. But it got me thinking as a woman can I not speak on things/actions that are not man like?
Let me back up and tell you guys what prompted this rant from me -- basically there were women gathering and taking out trash AND another woman had to open the door for the woman taking out the trash...SEVERAL men standing around just watching this... yup you read that correctly! There were several men just watching these women take out the trash. So because I am who I am I said
" female Y put down the trash male T I know you see her taking the trash out?" and that alone prompted male T to grab the trash and take it out. Which showed me he knew he was foul for watching her take it out and not just doing it in the first place.
So as I proceeded to tell these details via twitter
another one of my followers completely agreed with me. This reason I make a point to reference this agreement (cause I got several) is because this follower is a
MAN. So then the conversation shifts to well maybe they are just not
chivalrous and it has nothing to do with being a man. And that was a great point
BUT as my homie Tisha said
"show me a man that isn't chivalrous and i"ll show you a man that is lacking in other areas as well".
Fast forward to yesterday I brought up the question on twitter
"am I the only woman who when out with her s/o doesn't/won't drive unless he is physically unable?" And most agreed with me, so then I asked my male followers
"is it unreasonable expect/require the man to always drive?" and
that same follower replied
"nope, it should never be an issue." So the discussion in my timeline is now about some of the things
EYE and a few of my followers think
MEN are supposed to do. So I am getting really good responses and some funny ones also
"watch one ovary channel movie, wash dishes twice a week, lay supreme pipe, and lay down the law". My Sis
Reecie tweets me and says have you read
THIS - What Is and Isn't a Man? - so I went over and checked it out.
Now based on pure anatomy the author is way more qualified to determine what makes a man a man... There was a part of his article I simply just don't agree with ( and actually the only part of the article I felt I even COULD comment on) "A man doesn’t hold doors, carry groceries, cuddle, hold hands, or say “I love you” because she expects him too. He does it because he wants to. Related to this, a man can’t know everything and anything. Once again, a man is a human being."
So I told Reecie I simply don't agree with that statement, she said she sees it as a gentlemen thing, not a man thing. So my
response to her was, while EYE think walking on the outside, opening doors, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room are
CHIVALROUS -- I think driving, taking out the trash, pumping gas, yard work, car maintenance, offer a woman standing his seat, bring in the bags from the car, and (this one raised my eyebrows)
BLESSING THE MEAL are all things
MEN do and things
MEN should do...
PERIOD!!Fellas don't get me wrong EYE have strong opinions about what WOMEN should do as well but this entry is not about that... So am I off base here? Can a woman not say things like "act like a man"? Are there not tangible things that are a direct relationship to man like behavior?
