Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The importance of friendship...

I am an only child and have been ok with that my whole life, I have never really had close female friends and thought I never needed them. I don't have a bff and am ok with that, many call me somewhat of a loner. However, now at 30 I truly understand the need to have and foster those "girlfriend" #nohomo relationships.

There are several women in my circle who I admire, respect, love and want to be just like when I grow up for several different reasons. I am a firm believer that if you can't look at the people in your circle and learn something from them, be inspired by them, be encouraged by them, be pushed by them, and simply want to be like them you may need a new circle. Why would anyone seriously consider being friends with someone that they can't learn anything from? Why would anyone consider being friends with someone who never has anything positive going on in their lives?

I promise when I am at my wits end I can reach out to any of these women and they will be right there for me no questions asked!!! You know why? cause they love me, care about me, want me to be happy, and they know I will do the same. I can also reach out to them for a good laugh, your friends just shouldn't be there when something is wrong, you have to share the good times as well. Some people only need a friend when they are going through it -- but forget your number when something good happens to you, for you or for them.  Reciprocity is a must in all relationships you can't always be on the receiving end , we all have to give a little.


Let me just speak to that for a minute -- Webster defines reciprocity - as a mutual exchange of privileges.  This is such an important element of any relationship.  I think people tend to forget that "girlfriend #nohomo relationships need this just as must as romantic relationships.  Why do you think it is so hard for people to understand this concept?  I mean for me and my friendships this is a must -- not just because it is the right thing to do BUT because I love giving my friends the very best of me, I love knowing they know they can depend on me, I love knowing they know I won't judge, I love knowing they know what we talk about stays with just us, I love knowing they know they can trust me -- PERIOD!
 
 
I love surrounding myself with strong women, it never fails when I feel like I am lacking something I can go to anyone of them and get exactly what I need.  Most times they don't even know their testimonies are speaking to my very soul.  One thing that is important to me in a friendship is pure uncut honesty... I am the type of person who needs it and gives it; I also need people who are vaults and don't judge.

When I tell you over the past year God has blessed me with multiple friendships like that...chile I am not even sure I can put that into words. I look forward to getting input from them, advice ( I may not always follow), and even criticism from them. These women support me no matter what but they also will check my ass if I am just being crazy -- which I can often be.

One other thing that make me smile when I think of these women is the fact that they will be and are active in my daughters life.  I am so happy she will have a ton of strong women around her to look up to.

There is no need for me to list the names of these women, they know who they are.  I don't hide my love, admiration, and respect for them.  I try to make sure I let them know daily what they mean to me and my life.

17 comments:

Milan said...

Great post, sis! We've discussed that reciprocity deal at length and we are DEFINITELY on the same page about that. It is key to friendships. I know God has blessed me with beautiful girlfriend relationships in my life and I am both humbled and truly thankful for them. You are one of those (you already knew that) and yes I am thankful and blessed to be able to call you my friend. Love you!

Reecie said...

fantastic post. I agree with Milan, reciprocity is important. Coming from another only child I think I was the opposite, I always craved being around other people, and I had to grow into wanting to be alone. life is a process and we all need each other to uplift and inspire. and you can stop typing #nohomo! we know you aren't gay. lol.

so in closing. thank you for being a friend. love you much!

Cryssy said...

The #nohomo was placed in for comic relief...LOL!!

But yes you two are very important to me and I pray I do a good job of letting you both know. I pray that I am as good a friend to you both as you have been to me.

Love you both

Toni said...

Cryssy, I can say with complete sincerity & honesty that I feel blessed to be considered a friend of yours. You're always the one that asks how I am when we're out, and it's always at the point when I'm feeling insecure or alone. I pray that I give you the same joy you give me. I'm not an only child, but I haven't had many REAL girlfriends in life, so when I find one, I hold on tight. I'll always be here if you need anything. Your light shines on everyone that's lucky enough to be in contact with it. Like we inspire you, you inspire us as well. #lovemesomeyou
- Toni :)

Cryssy said...

Toni babygirl you know I will always be hee when you need me... #meanthat

D. Mitch said...

This is a great post...I think having an inner circle of friends that you can share your ups and downs with is always key. I wasn't an only child, but being as though me and my siblings were years apart, I grew up as one basically. I was one who craved the interaction with other people...and was sad when I had to be alone.

Ms. Minx said...

But I mean...what is there to say that hasn't already been said, lol? I hate not getting in my comments ASAP. But still

Great post: Check
ImportantEST <--- yeah, ImportantEST concept is indeed reciprocity. I hate feeling like your joy and sorrow is to be shared, yet mine should be kept to myself. Girl (or boy), BYE!

I've blogged enough about friendships and stuff like that over the past few months (years, even), and I'm glad that God showed me that people CAN come into your life and love the heck outta ya (#nohomo, lol)even when they've only known you a few months, and never set eyes on you in the flesh.

Love you, boo!! Now send me my nail polish, crazy. #Shat LMAO!

Crys said...

I love it!!! We've laughed alot, we've cried some, we've shared secrets, and grown so much! You are my namesake and Im proud to call you my sis! Healthy, loving, respectful relationships like this are so hard to find but a true blessing to keep! Love you! (#no homo)

Cryssy said...

D. Mitch your comments echo Reecie! I am not sure how males view friendship but it is nice to know, that some understand the value of it.

Ms. Minx -- honey i am trying to send them all to you at once... Also i need your addy again i deleted all my old email :shameful face:

Unknown said...

Crys u know we are 2 the same, my mama would call us "much what" I love u and care for u more than words. We can tell each other the truth and we don't have to agree and we are ok anyway. That type of honesty is rare to find and I'm blessed to have it. Now can u hop a megabus or somethin, dang

Cryssy said...

Crys I told you the other day I am super proud of the woman you have become. Like you said we don't talk every day but when we do it is like we havent skipped a beat.

Mo my sis, I am getting on their soon! You know when I come YT wants to come with unless the boo will be present I need to be solo... so we can act like we do!!

Tasha said...

wonderful post!! very truthful and endearing!! EXCELLENT writing and u know anytime u need me im here!! love u!!

Tasha said...

uhh and just one more thing... do u have to use #nohomo???? lol

Cryssy said...

Tasha you know we go way back like 4 flats... and yes #nohomo was for comic relief

Unknown said...

This a great post Cryssy. I'm very happy to be counted as one of your friends :D....even though you hoodwinked me into joining Twitter...

Cryssy said...

Kenya, Sis you shouldn't tell such stories... Love you lots

Icy said...

Meant to comment on this weeks ago, but I am happy to count you amongst my friends. It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I am finally content with the energy of those surrounding me... and you are one of the most treasured spirits in my small collection of friends.

Love you!