Sunday afternoon rant!

you know last night I made a hard decision and sent a text I really didn't want to send. I typed the message then put the phone down. I looked at the message again and then put the phone down. I picked up the phone reviewed the message deleted anything in the message that may have appeared negative, prayed and then sent the text. And to my surprise the person responded and it was not bad! You know I tend to read into this way too much but the message simply sad "What do you want". So I kinda responded with a smart ass comment " I want us both to let go of the anger and a "... For those of you that really know me and the person I was talking to, you know I probably pissed them off. Cause nothing came of that..

Oh well...

Let me tell you what lead to this text message. I was talking with a friend via im (shout out S) and we were talking about how I had so much shit I wanted to say to this individual. She suggested that I write it hear in the blog or write him a letter. She said once I got the feelings out make sure I left them there. So last night about 12:00 am I started writing him a letter and people when I tell you it was brutal it was brutal.. The reason I decided on the letter instead of blogging about it is because all that I needed to say was way too personal and mean. I know y'all in my business but I am not ready for all that yet... LMAO!

So today I am so GOOD.. I have not felt this ok and clear in a really long time... It is really like whatever happens now is just that whatever happens... The bitterness is slowly creeping away, I am regaining new perspective on myself and my life. My heart is still hard and closed and I expect it will be for a long time. I am dealing coping with trust issues, I think everyone has motives and can not be trusted with my emotions. But that topic is for another entry another day..

I say all of this to say... Things are looking good, I am finally starting to feel good and I once again see the light at the end of the tunnel...