They only do what you allow them to...

Of course I am speaking of men...

It took some time and some failed relationships for me to realize just that. You know during the course of these relationships I would cry, complain, cry some more and ask the question why. I had to realize that these problems, those men did everything I told them (in some way) was ok... What do I mean by that I mean in some way I accepted all the bullshit they dished out.

I am not sure if its because I have a daughter on the way now, or because I am truly fed up with being disappointed but I have got to make some changes. Of course I am not insinuating that it was my fault he cheated, lied and cheated some more. But what was my fault is that I did not demand what I would accept and what I would not. You know what I am talking about he does something here and there and you never really say anything. Either cause its new, or you think it will change, or you don't want to come off as a nag...

Well the lesson I learned was nag or not if it doesn't sit right with me I must speak up. Cause as long as you don't say anything they will think its ok. Oh yeah and you can't just talk about it you have to mean it. Make sure your actions back up your words.

And fellas I am NOT dissing you... NOT one bit, if I could get away with shit I would. It is our fault as women we have to demand better. People are probably like what the hell does she know, she said she has been in failed relationships. And you are right I have been in 3 failed (serious) relationships. And it was not until this last one that I did some reflection and realized I made the same mistakes in them all. I did not demand better, I made it easy for these men to hurt me.

So my frustration is not really with men its with myself women as a whole ( I know not all of us do this). I truly think that men try shit because there was some other female who accepted that shit and now he is giving it to me... I challenge us all to DEMAND better of these men, let them know that you have to come better or not at all. I know there is always someone who he can get whatever he wants from but let them be the minority and not the majority.